PANTS OFF DANCE OFF

I awoke this morning to the sound of snowmachines warming up as I crawled out of my loft.  The neighbors were getting ready for a joy ride.  So I stepped out to make pleasant conversation and low and behold a shattered U-joint is on the ground behind my truck.  After crawling underneath my truck I discovered...all my u-joints were fine.  Strange... shattered pieces of metal in the driveway... Then again my neighbors buddy lost a CV-axle in the driveway on Christmas.  It probably was that.  -40F will do weird things to metal.

Tonight is the night where the stars align and the temps will rise to near zero and the PANTS OFF DANCE OFF will commence.  I'm playing with a group of great local musicians to see if we can conjure the best pantless dancers in Fairbanks.  It is going to be wild.  There is nothing like the lull of post-Christmas / pre-New Year to get people to come out.  People won't realize they are broke until after the New Year from spending too much money on Christmas so this is the time to get them to belly up to the bar and take those pants off....and shake what their Mammas gave them.

The man wants you to wear pants.  Seriously.  They were invented to keep you down.  Release your inner dance demon and come compete for great prizes at the PANTS OFF DANCE OFF tonight at the Marlin in sub-tropical (haha) Fairbanks, Alaska.    

Darknesses

This is the time of the year I plan very few gigs and I become a recluse cabin dweller out on the outskirts of town.  The wife and I barely go into town unless it is for some necessities.  I literally spend my time watching paint dry and just keep piling wood into the stove.  The lack of vitamin D is apparent.  You really don't know what it does for you unlike you need it.  The temps have finally dropped to around -40F (which is about -40C for my non-American friends) and it makes going outside to get some "D" even harder.  But life goes on.  I will continue sleeping 14+ hours a day until the sun comes back.  It is only a matter of time.  I'll just try to keep busy for the 10 hours I am awake a day.  Got the truck loaded now for a water / propane / trash run.  How I do like driving that truck.  I can't even being to think of how many ukuleles I could haul with that truck...oh the possibilities.  Perhaps I will drive around for the three hours it is light out.  Will that help?  Not too sure.

I'm playing my last two shows of the year this Saturday at the "Pants Off Dance Off" and then the New Years Eve party with the Fairbanks All Stars.  Both gigs are at the infamous basement bar known as the Marlin.  It is a place near and dear to my heart.  Nothing like cool basement clubs where anything goes. I get to play this show with a handful of real Alaskan pros.  It is going to be awesome.

Soon after the new year it is time to head back east to see family and play some interesting gigs.  I can't wait this darkness is getting to me.  Forty below, the ice and snow, and the darknesses.  That's right, there is so much of it that you need to create new words to describe it.  The deep freeze wouldn't be so bad if the sun was actually out.

 

Mullets, alternators, and the forty below.

I am convinced that the mullet is making a comeback.  I'm not saying I would be hip to getting one.  I am just saying that they might be making a come back.  There was a foreigner I ran into in town.  He was rocking one.  Went to Wal-Mart and saw another.  There is even this little woman in town with a high and tight mullet. It is extremely well kept.  Business in the front, party in the rear.  Who knows it could just be the darkness getting to me.  The countdown to solstice continues.  Just a few more weeks and then we will be gaining sunlight.  Boo-ya! 

Big truck died on me the other day... well... It all started with my van's transmission crapping the bed.  Stuck on the side of the highway about 100+ miles from my place at the end of Windy Pass.  Lucky it was only -10F or so outside.  My buddy from the Cantwell Lodge came and rescued me and hooked me up with a rig for the week so I would still make my gigs at the Yukon Bar in Seward (520 miles from Fairbanks).  I can't even begin to thank them.  Mike and Janet are the best.  GO TO THEIR LODGE!! Right off the Parks Highway.  Explore downtown Cantwell.  The legendary rival community to Sicily, AK. the fictional town from the TV series Northern Exposure. 

Anyway the wife started up the truck so we could use it to go retrieve my van off the road.  Turns out it needed an alternator.  It died.  So I got that done today and even replaced the belt while I was at it.  Thank god it wasn't too cold today.  Now just to do the CV axles on my new Subaru I picked up tomorrow.  Should be good to roll to Anchorage then.  Last trip of the year.  Humpys Great Alaskan Alehouse here I come downtown Anchorage      

The temps dipped down last week to the high -30Fs.  It was cold being stuck on the side of the road.  Hopefully my new beater with a heater makes it or this ukulele guy is going to be hitching it.  I have to leave a day early.  Looks like there is an ice storm on the way.  Time to pack the arctic gear and get ready for whatever is thrown at me.      

 

Let the hibernation begin!

Here is a blast from the past!  Ron and I.  Beantown.  Good times.

This is the time of year I slow down on out of town (Alaskan) gigs and get down to....hibernating.  The short days are getting shorter and soon we will have less than 3 hours of light.  That is when the real crazy begins.  I use this time of the year to enjoy the winter things like riding my snowmachine and snowshoeing among others.  However, this is the time of the year I do a ton of writing and learning of new material for my show.  I think the long days inside because who wants to ride a snowmachine at -30 or below?  Not this guy.  So this is when I sit by the woodstove, play my kamaka since I could care less about it (from the first time I brought it to Alaska it has been dying -- Hawaiian instruments with no rods in the neck are a BAD IDEA for subarctic Alaska.  Very BAD IDEA.....  I went through a long depression when my Kamaka fell from grace and then was rescued by Tom Parse of Far North Ukuleles.  Best ukuleles this side of the Pacific rim!

Big things are on the horizon though.  International festivals this upcoming year (they will be announced soon and no...they aren't in Canada), tons of new gigs, and the Parks Highway Band will be growing to a four piece for some select shows.  This is going to be a great year for this ukulele guy.  Stay updated for more ukulele happenings in the last frontier!

Big truck, little ukulele.

There comes a point in a man's life (at least in mine) that if he hasn't done so yet he needs to buy a truck to go with his ukulele.  That day was today.  In the American tradition of going to extremes and driving something that is absolutely HUGE I went out and bought a work horse of a pickup.  This isn't a daily driver.  This is for when I have big ukulele jobs to do.  Hauling thousands of ukuleles at a time with one machine.  Dragging ukuleles that have gone off the road out of the ditch  My man dreams have come true.  Things are coming together for the winter!

Been on and off doing shows lately.  I have one tonight at the University of Alaska Fairbanks at the Student Pub.  Always a good time and another at the Marlin on Saturday with the SUPERFRIENDS.  Back in the groove.  A week on the road coming up. Good times.

Winter is around the corner.  We are having a super long fall.  I can't complain at all but it is starting to get dark earlier.  It is noticeable now.  Bring it on winter.  Bring it on... but not too "on".  Just gently bring it.      

Revolvers, three wheelers, and ukuleles, oh my!

Thought I would start this post out with a very Alaskan picture of my wife and I.  Ukuleles, three wheelers, and revolvers, OH MY!

Now that regular moose hunting season is over (as of last week) and I am mooseless (well I got a bunch from last year still, but is not like having a whole moose. Time to hunker down and get my stuff ready for the winter which looked like it was all ready here but is now gone, the sun is warm still.  This however is my favorite and the shortest season of the year, fall.  This is the just the awkward few weeks in between the HOT from the winter.  Which don't get me wrong, I'm excited for some snow.  I got my Arctic Cats ready and it will be nice to finally ride them.  I bought them from a friend last month and they have been sitting and waiting for some action.  Soon my pretties, soon.

Had an awesome show Saturday night with what seems like my new Fairbanks band kinda thing.  Not that the Park Highway Band is going to break up, but sometimes it is hard for the bass player and the drummer to drive the 300+ miles to come to the city by the river where the banks are fair, Fairbanks.  So two of my local buddies and I teamed up to form the SUPERFRIENDS last night.  Electric ukulele, drum set, and an alto sax.  I didn't really know what to expect, but like all good musicians that have never played together before, it went splendidly.  That is what we call in the business, Jazz.

In other news I got accosted by two moose tonight (and perhaps a bear) when I was unloading the truck from a water run.  Not cool to hear a distressed/wounded moose call and then have two run right by you completely out of nowhere in the pitch black dark of night.  My headlamp only illuminated two moose asses at about 20ft moving up the hill fast.  There was a third animal, but it was dark.  I suspect it was a black bear, but I don't know.  The wounded or distressed cow call is very noticeable and they don't do it for no reason.   Not cool, yet hardcore.  I love Alaska.

Snowmobile vs Snowmachine -- Winter is here.

1000 feet of a 30 year old overgrown trail has now been reclaimed by me.  This guy.  Surveyors trails from the 1980s.  Winter is starting to set in and I decided it was time to clean up some old trails around my land to allow access this winter via snowmobile.... or should I say snow machine?  That seems to be what happens when you go west over the Mississippi river.  Once you cross that line snowmobiles turn into snow machines.  Back east in Maine I always thought that a snow machine was what they used at the ski mountains to make snow during low snow years.  Little did I know that when I moved to Alaska I would finally buy my first snow machines that don't make snow.  Go figure.  No one trusts you out here if you call them snowmobiles.  They just look at you funny and ask if you are from "away".  That is the nice way of asking if you live in the lower 48.  "Down there" is another term you hear being thrown around too.  

Things are starting to slow down for me (on purpose) and I am trying to get everything done before the snow flies.  I have a generous 4 cord of wood split stacked and stored in the shed.  Just a few more wheel barrels to go.  The fuel oil is in the tank.  Now the long wait begins.  "The long wait for what?" you might ask.  The long wait for winter to end.  Duh.  It snowed two days ago.  It is only a matter of time now.  We are past the fall equinox.  It is all down hill from here.  We are losing around 7 minutes of light a day.  Hibernation time will start soon.  

The wife and I both went out and bought extra cars.  There is nothing worse than your car breaking down when it is -40F (which is the same at -40C -- they meet up at -40) and not having an extra rig.  My first winter I moved here I was in the driveway doing ball joints and CV axles on the front end of my car at -40 with just over two hours of light.  I could only take about 20 minutes at a time being outside (I was a little green then) with a 6ft pry bar and a torch.  Needless to say it was a mess, but I got it done.  Three days later.  

This year we decided to have a ton of cars for the winter and a car sale in the spring.  My newest car I just bought today is a yellow 1987 Subaru Justy.  It is a like a 4X4 Geo Metro.  My friends from high school, from the time when I used to rock a Geo on the regular, would be proud.  It is beefier... and it is banana yellow.  I will post a pic soon.

One more night rocking the biker bar.  The world famous Howling Dog Saloon.  The world's most northern biker / rock and roll bar.  The Parks Highway Band will be rocking.  I will be posting a choice video from the gigs there this weekend soon.  Hope everyone enjoyed my video of the song I wrote from my wife.  Here is the youtube if you are interested!

A view was my reward.

I set out early this morning on a mission to get a head start on my day of cutting trees down and getting a few loads to my cabin from the property.  I got tired around 2:30pm running the saw.  I think I need to get some of those anti-vibe gloves or perhaps a smaller saw for marathon stretches of tree destruction.  It ran out of gas five times on me today.  Bone dry!  I'm making good progress now.  Probably another week of straight cutting and then I will deal with all the trees on the ground.  I have to find the perfect spot for my amphitheater.

After I put away the saw and had all ready gotten a load of wood back to my cabin something bad happened.  On round two when I was getting my second load of wood for the day I disturbed a ground bee hive.  Took a shot to the face and the arm (it got inside my two shirts somehow) and was beginning to get swarmed.   I thought quick and began flailing my arms in the air and sprinting down the hill, my driveway, and about 50 yards down my road.  Lucky for me I lost them, but I gave up on filling the rest of the truck.  3/4 load for the last one.  Even with that I have way more wood than I would ever need to last the winter.  Just got my heating oil delivered and we are ready to roll.  Bring it on winter... I mean... come back but play nice... Please?

After I got the truck ready to go it was about dusk.  I walked into the woods and climbed to the top of the clearing I had cut to get a look at what I had done for the day.  It dawned on me that I finally had a view.  A slowly growing view, but a view nonetheless!  Now you could see the hills on the other side of the valley from me.  it was only a matter of time.  My lot is about 1200' up.  It has to view something, right?  Also I discovered that I have line of sight to the cell towers.  Full signal in the middle of nowhere.  Technology at its finest.

One more day of logging and then it is back to the ukulele grind for four nights and then some hunting with a good friend in Cantwell, population 200 and something.

Are we in Spenard yet?

I am back in the big city getting ready for my evening on and in the area of the Anchorage metropolis known as Spenard.   The particular bar I am playing at tonight is actually painted like Eddie Van Halen.   Good times.

Went on the search for yard sales today.  Meet some nice people and found some awesome stuff.   Today I am the proud new owner of a hand crank grain mill along with a pasta crank. 

Cooking some fresh salmon I caught on the ride down to Anchorage on Thursday.  Rack another one up for the Roadside Angler.  That is also the the title of an awesome Alaskan fishing guide book. 

CAROUSEL LOUNGE TONIGHT!

One last week of gigs and then...MOOSE!

I am about to embark on my last week of gigs before the moose hunt begins.  Even though the sun is starting to set earlier and the temperature at night is slowly creeping towards freezing I am still happy, happy for moose season.  The 20 days of the year I work very little and am up before the crack of dawn every day until I bag my bull.  I spaced out the final frozen pieces of moose and am down to my last three.  I hope I get a moose this season so that number doesn't dwindle to nothing.  Wish me luck!

On my way to my gigs down in Anchorage and Seward this weekend I will be making the final push to fill some of the empty spaces in my freezer with silver (coho) salmon.  The wife and I bagged our limit at a secret roadside location in 20 minutes the Sunday before last and the fish had just gotten in.  I'm hoping to hit the tail end of them today on my way south and again on my way north on Monday.

Sunday night I get to fill in for an Alaskan Legend, Hobo Jim.  He needed the night off for some reason and the Yukon Bar was nice enough to offer me the slot to fill.  Hopefully people aren't disappointed that I'm not a 60+ year old dude with a cowboy hat and jeans.  They will have to settle for a 30 year old dude with Carharts and a strange smell.  What is that smell you ask?  It is the smell of ukulele excellence...and b.o.

THURSDAY - Humpys Great Alaskan Alehouse - ANCHORAGE - 9pm
SATURDAY - Carousel Lounge - ANCHORAGE - 10pm
SUNDAY - Yukon Bar - SEWARD - 9pm

Bill Maher and Primus

In the span of a few months I have had to pleasure of opening up for two major mainstream acts.  It is an honor to be the ukulele player here in Alaska that is waving the banner of ukulele world domination high in the sky.  It is the coming.  The ukulele revolution that is!

Things are finally starting to settle down.  The salmon are packed in the freezer.  The firewood is done. It must mean it is time to start prepping for the moose hunt.  The three wheeler is as good as it is gonna get for now.  I just need to adjust the tightness on the chain.  Finally got the brakes fixed back a month ago.  That was sketchy for a while.  September 1st here I come!

This seems to be the time of year when you actually want your vehicles to break down if they are going to.  It is still nice out and there is light most of the day.  In two months that would start to not be the case.  Working on front ends of vehicles (90% of the time this seems to be the problem) outside in the winter sucks.  There are number of things that the cold does that makes it difficult.  As long as you have a 6ft pipe, a torch, and a little know how you can usually get by.  It is a good feeling though when you actually fix it yourself and don't get charged the $100+/hr (it varies) shop rate in town.  Pride is a sin, but it sure is tasty.

My wife and I actually just fixed her car.  The clutch fan assembly busted off and took out the radiator.  After much running around trying to get the parts together we finally got it back together.  I have to admit, without her tiny little lady hands I would have never been able to finish the job.  Teamwork equals cost savings!

At the Marlin in Fairbanks at 10pm tonight with a SPECIAL GUEST!

Back to the grind

After a few weeks of gigs, getting married, and giving the sister-in-law a tour around a bunch of the great state of Alaska I'm finally back to the grind.

Yesterday I got to play my yearly stint at the Tanana Valley State Fair here in Fairbanks.  It is nice to have a bunch of gigs local to my house.  I put well over 1200 miles on my car last week with another 1100 mile work week coming up. 3.5 times the size of Texas.  Everything is not bigger in Texas... except belt buckles and cowboy hats.  That is about it.

The one thing that the fairs across the state here mean to me is the ending of the short summer season and the transition into moose hunting season.  Lindsey, my wife, and I depend on a moose to feed us non-store bought meat for the year.  Store bought slaughter house meats just don't do it for us.  We would rather not support those businesses with our hard earned dollars so we hunt.  Half of a full grown moose is enough for my wife and I to eat for a year (I'm just getting to the end of my stash now) so we like to donate the rest of the animal to someone who can't hunt for themselves.  Me and my hunting buddy last year gave a 1/3 of our moose to a local one legged man.  He was so happy he would have kicked himself in the ass for lack of a second leg.

This next week I'm heading down to the Kenai Peninsula for my last fair of the season, The Kenai Peninsula Fair, with night bar gigs each night.  Triple headers this upcoming weekend!  It is good to be in the last ukulele frontier!  Plus, my lady gets to come with me this trip!  Yay!  Silver salmon fishing, ukulele jams, and my lady... oh yeah... and the dog.  Good times!

TSA vs Border Crossings

I must say that I had a blast going to the Haines Fair in Haines, Alaska this past week.  It was more of all-weekend concert with vendors than a fair, which was super awesome.  I got to play alongside some great bands from all over the country, (Carrie Nation and Hill Stomp being two of them) and share my love of the ukulele with the people.  It was great to be able to give a ukulele clinic and a performance.  I can't wait to go back and do it again next year!

However, my main reason for this post is to thank the wonderful people working the border crossing on both sides.  You see to get to Haines, AK. via road I have to drive several hours into the Yukon Territory to get there.  That is right, leave Alaska for the Yukon only to drive back into Alaska.  Let me tell you what... they were so nice to me every time I passed through the crossings.  This is not the same treatment I get going through TSA.  I get my own personal public rubdown, get my luggage reorganized, and my ukulele put under a microscope every time I fly.  Border crossings?  I get the waved through.

Upon entering Canada they asked me if I was going to leave anything in their country.  I said, "I might use a bathroom or two".  They laughed, handed me back my passport (which I think is ridiculous I need one to enter Canada -- I thought we were special friends???) and told me to have a nice trip.  And other than getting sketched out by a black bear while "leaving" something in Canada in the woods off the Haines road I had a great time!  It was good to swing through Whitehorse and see some people I hadn't hung out with since my Gristlestick days.  Good times.

Friday night I'm playing at one of my favorite roadhouses in the world, The Fairview Inn in Talkeetna with the Parks Highway Band.... and then... on Saturday... on the beautiful banks on the Susitna River with Denali in the background I'm getting married to the love of my life.

Good times.

Unexpected workout

There I was riding my three wheeler through the woods last night enjoying the evening air when tragedy struck.  My drive chain decided it was going to come off the rear end and I was stranded about a mile from the road.  I didn't even skip a beat because I knew that a lonely guy in the woods at night in Alaska probably isn't the greatest idea.  I was packing heat because if you are crazy enough to ride on a thirty year old machine with only three wheels in the middle of the night (which if it is really "night" yet here that is debatable) you best be prepared.  So there I was huffing and puffing while jogging behind the three wheeler keeping en eye out for large mammals.  Luckily I did not encounter anything.

When I finally got it to the road I stashed it on the trail in the bushes.  It was only another mile walk to my cabin, but there was no walking going on, only running.  The bugs were so bad that every time I looked down at my hands they were covered with mosquitoes.  I had to constantly slap myself in the face to kill the little bastards.  It was all fine and dandy until my Honda Big Red broke down.  As long as you can stay at a constant speed right above jogging speed the bugs don't get you.  Well they were getting me trying to run the mile up the steep hill to my place.

Needless to say once I finally got back to my place and took my van to go get my rig I was beat.  That is what happens though.  You have to be mentally prepared to just deal with the situation and not miss a beat.  I was off that wheeler and pushing it in a split second.  I don't know if it was just natural quick thinking or the threat of the bugs that got me going to fast.  Whatever it was, it got me home.

This week's shows:

Wednesday - SubZero MicroLounge - Anchorage, AK. - 8pm
Thurs / Fri. - Two day vacation with friends in WHITEHORSE, Yukon, CA.
Saturday - Haines State Fair - Haines, AK.
Sunday - Pioneer Bar - Haines, AK.
Monday - 20 hour drive back to Fairbanks.

Fairbanks Summer Arts Festival

I have been so busy this past week being the ukulele instructor for the Fairbanks Summer Arts Festival!  I had a ton of great students and wonderful performances.  The pic at the top of this post is me and Mike Stevens (www.mikestevensmusic.com) harmonica virtuoso and I tearing the roof off the sucka!  That was a fun show!

After a long week of molding the minds of ukulele players I'm off to the Haines State Fair.  The only bad part of the trip down there is the only way to drive there is to cross the border into Canada.  Not that I don't like Canada, but when you look like a wildman and have a ukulele border agents tend to want to "talk to you" a little longer and enjoy inspecting your things.  Sometimes I believe when I'm flying out of Alaska that TSA is waiting, just waiting, to grope me.  They never fail to rub me down with the "backs of their hands".  Arg.

Good times.

Two weeks until my wedding.  I must be getting old.

Why can't I shoot ravens?

It started yesterday.  The ravens have been squawking all day and night about something.  When I first heard them yesterday afternoon I got excited.  Was there some sort of kill in the woods with perhaps a bear or other animal guarding the carcass?  Ravens get a little flustered when they want something.  So I jumped out from my desk, got on my boots, ran outside and gathered my gear and headed toward the horribly loud racket they were making.  I got about 100 yards from my cabin, almost to the edge of the property and here they came.  Three of them following each other around just squawking annoyingly loud at one another as they flew from tree to tree.  This is now day two with them circling in a 300 yard circle.  Thank god I'm loading up to hit the road for a 5 day stint.  There is no way I can get any thinking here done.

All I can do is yell as loud as them and they could care less.

Bears, ukuleles, and Alaska.

This is how I spent the first minutes of this year's 4th of July.  I figured if I was going to celebrate independence day I needed to do something independent like get out in the woods searching for Alaska's apex predator, the grizzly bear.  Unfortunately I did not stumble on or call in a bear.  I thought wounded moose calls would be like ringing the dinner bell, I was wrong or just needed a couple more days.  Even though I did not get my bear I still was reminded of why I live here in Alaska.  Independence and the freedom to do as I please is why I chose to move from the other end of the continent and my family to embark on a life journey in one of the most rewarding and unforgiving places in the world.

They say you will either feel one of two ways when you visit Alaska.  You will either love it or hate it.  About the third summer I came up here a local friend of mine here in Fairbanks asked me, "You love it don't you? Alaska?  You keep coming up every summer." to which I replied, "Yeah I really do love it." he then told me I was screwed and I should just move here and get it over with.  I obviously took his advice.

This next week I am teaching two classes at the Fairbanks Summer Arts Festival on ukulele.  My classes were jam packed last year and it appears they are that way again this year.  Perhaps one day I will get to teach at a festival outside of Alaska.  Perhaps a festival completely dedicated to ukuleles.  That would be most excellent.  I have a great lesson on the secrets of the thumb I think many people would be interested in.  Since I cut myself off from the ukulele community I have evolved on my own without the help of saying "Aloha" and wearing flower covered shirts.  I play more of the "what's up?" / Carhart apparel version of the ukulele.

THIS WEEK's SHOWS!

Wednesday - TALKEETNA - Fairview Inn - w/ Dr. Jones - 9pm

Thursday - SOUTH CENTRAL, AK. - The search for salmon begins.

Friday - ANCHORAGE - Humpy's Great Alaskan Alehouse - w/ Dr. Jones and Merrill J. Miller - 9pm

Saturday - PALMER - Combat Vets Biker Club Fundraiser - American Legion - w/ Dr. Jones and Merrill J. Miller - 3pm

Saturday - CANTWELL - Cantwell Lodge - solo - 9pm

Sunday - FAIRBANKS - Fairbanks Summer Arts Festival begins! - 2pm

Let the hunt for America Day begin

Today I pack up my van with all the right stuff for my journey into the vast Denali Highway wilderness with the Parks Highway Band.  I'm taking all the right gear with me that will be needed for such an expedition.  I will be scouting for bears tomorrow since where I'm going has the largest concentration for interior brown bears, otherwise known as grizzlies, in the state.  Fortunate for me and the boys we are rocking the most awesome lesser known 4th of July show in the state.  70 miles down a dirt road through the mountains to about 4,000+ft to the side of a bluff that overlooks the pristine Susitna River valley.  There you will find the Alpine Creek Lodge.(https://www.facebook.com/alpine.c.lodge?fref=ts)

This will be my third year playing this gathering of great people and a marathon 6+ hours of rocking with the Parks Highway Band and our very special friend Mr. Merrill J. Miller
(https://www.facebook.com/MerrillJMiller?fref=ts)

Time to load up the three wheeler, my side arm, my rifle, all my skinning and cutting gear, game bags, bug nets, sighting scope,  and my plastic Jesus for good luck... oh yeah, and my ukulele of course.  It is time to hunt for America and my freezer.  

So come out if you want to know what real freedom is on this Independence Day.  Mile 68 on the Denali Highway.  70 miles from the nearest town or power line.  Leave your cell phone at home.  

The renegade owl that almost ruined the weekend.

Slightly true story.  We did encounter an owl on the drive that night along with 10 moose.   think this blurb from my bass player really sums up our post awesome opening for Primus drive to Talkeetna. 

This just in: 

Dateline Parks Highway somewhere on the Fairbanks side of Skinny Dick's Half Way Inn Authorities reported picking up a very tipsy Owl hitch hiking to Nenana. The owl was ranting about an early Saturday morning encounter with a burgundy colored metal monster that was kidnapping his friend Primus the Bear. The monster (a van) full of ukuleles and hippies was stopped later near Talkeetna and they did indeed have the head of a bear but not the bear belonging to the owl. No charges were filed because the bear body was not present and a crazed ukulele player had worn it the night before. The smell overpowered the authorities who left quickly. The owl was admitted to a local hospital for a psychological evaluation.

PRIMUS!!!!

Tonight The Parks Highway Band will open for one of the most innovative bands of all time, Primus.  I figured this giant Igloo would get the point across.  It is the world's largest asbestos cement igloo.  That's right, only on the Parks Highway.  It is for sale if anyone is interested.  Has been for years.  

Don't worry Mom my leg is Okay

I did what I should have done before the chainsaw jumped up and bit my leg.  I bought some protective chaps for my leg health.  These past couple weeks I have put down my ukulele for a chainsaw.  A lot has been done, but soon I will pick the ukulele back up and will wave the banner of ukulele world domination when I open for Primus next week.  Ukulele Russ has a big brown beaver too... several of them.  

And then there were three...

 So before I went to bed last night I caught my two Honda 200E Big Red three wheelers humping in the yard.  Not cool.  It was almost as bad as walking in on your parents, which has never happened to me but have been there when it has happened to friends.  Either my parents are extremely sneaky or they only had sex twice, my brother and I.  I believe it is the latter.  Please god...

Anyway... I caught them getting ready to do the nasty.  The bad part was the parts wheeler, that isn't all there, was getting on top.  I knew that something wasn't going to turn out right, but who am I to stop them.  They are so lonely in the yard.  So I let them do their thing.

To my surprise in the morning magic had happened over night and the two 200Es had successfully mated and popped out a little 110cc three wheeler.  I have been blessed with another three wheeler.  Oh joyous day!

Big week coming up for Ukulele Russ & The Parks Highway Band:

June 19th - Sub Zero Microlounge - Anchorage - 8pm
June 20th - Wasilla Downtown Market - Wasilla - 11am
June 21st - OPENING FOR PRIMUS!!!!  - Blue Loon - Fairbanks - 8pm
June 22nd - Solarfest - Talkeetna - 12pm
June 22nd - Blue Fox Cocktail Lounge - 10pm

Why just have one three wheeler?

When for the price of a new tire you can buy a whole other parts wheeler with a good tire on it?  That is how it goes here in AK.  Yesterday I popped a tire coming home from my wood cutting expedition and I started my search for another front tire.  After a few minutes of browsing websites of tire distributors for a new rubber it looked like it was going to be $80 for a tire and another $75 for shipping.  So I did what any good consumer does...  I went to Craigslist.  Within five hours I had another wheeler with only one good, nearly brand new, tire on it.  The size I needed and only $75 for the whole package!

Now I need to get this other wheeler running.  No key... looks like I'm gonna have to try to hot wire it.  It turns over.  There is a hope.  Honda Big Reds are indestructible

Fairbanks Summer Folk Fest tomorrow @ Pioneer Park - 6:20pm

The Marlin - tomorrow night @ 10pm - Fairbanks!

On my wall hangs the noble...

Arctic Grayling.  Well, it isn't a real grayling, it is a rug my Mother hooked for me.  And she didn't do it on a corner either.  She's a stand up rug hooking lady.  Anyway I thought the people out there would enjoy some of Alaskan inspired art on my cabin's wall.  It reminds me that I need to go fishing in between the mass tree cutting adventure I'm currently in the middle of.  There has been too much to do with fixing the three wheeler to get in and out of my property since my van won't make it in.  The constant sharpening and maintaining my saw among other things is getting old especially with all the skeeters.

Little know Alaskan fact -- There are something like 17 different species of mosquitoes here in AK.  The season always starts with the big dumb quarter sized slow ones which soon turns into the small smart ones.  After that the tiger striped ones come out...  I think I might be paying too much attention to the bugs.  They are driving me crazy.  That is part of the reason I need to cut more trees.  I need the sun to dry the place out.        

On a side note I'm looking at buying a second three wheeler tomorrow.  I'm starting my fleet.  I can see it now, Ukulele Russ's ATC (ALL TERRIAN CYCLE) Adventures.  Or ATC could stand for Arctic Tundra Cycle.  OOoooo I'm on to something however before I start giving tours I need to write up a 25 page release form that relieves me of all responsibility of personal injury and what not.  If you don't have sweet three wheeler riding skills you should not attempt turning.  That can be bad.

Nothing like a Honda Big Red and some time to kill.  I have been out riding at midnight with no sign of night time in sight.  No darkness here this time of year.  Game on.  

One man. One pile. One destiny.

This is the wood pile that never ends.  Sometimes a guy just has to put down his ukulele and get down and dirty.  Who wants to pay someone else for wood when I can cut my own?  I don't know which is worse, the size of the wood pile I have to cut, split, and stack or the large amount of extra timber I'm going to cut off this particular lot.  It is the only way to get rid of the mosquitoes.  They are kind of like the infected people in that Will Smith movie "I am Legend".  You just need to create an area with no shade.  That at least keeps them away during the heat of the day.

The bugs aren't that bad as long as you keep moving.  Once you stop to take a picture it is game on.  How long can you sit still while you are being eaten alive?  

MONSANTO CAN SUCK MY UKULELE

I did my part to stick it to mansanto this week.  I picked 20+ pounds of nature's goodness, fiddleheads.

Today was spent cutting next year's fire wood and sharpening my chain saw.  10+ cord to go. should have enough for two years or more.

Memorial Day - the day the leaves came back

The leaves all came out the day I get home from a five day work week on the road.  Nothing better than coming home to this and 70+ temps.  To think two weeks ago it was 38F.

When I sit and think about the sacrifices that others have made so the rest of us can live in relative comfort and freedom here in the United States I kinda get all choked up and teary eyed.  To think that if the soldiers of today and yesterday weren't there to protect my freedoms I would not be fixing my three wheeler today nor would I be heading out to re-cut a 15 year old overgrown trail with my mini chainsaw.  I wouldn't be rocking an outhouse that overlooks the beautiful Spinach Creek valley.  Most importantly I wouldn't be able to make a living as a full time ukulele entertainer if it wasn't for them.

So a tip of the hat to the great members of the military, past and present.  Without you there wouldn't be room for me or my ukulele.

Happy memorial day everyone!  

You need CORE STRENGTH!

Most people believe that ukuleles are all huki laus and Hawaiian shirts.  This is far from the case.  I adhere to a different thought train that there is a mind / body connection between the operator and their ukulele.  The easiest way I can show people is with this video of me balancing on an exercise ball chair and playing "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor at the same time.  You gotta have it... The eye of the tiger.  Persistence and repetition.  

Hopefully this will shed some light on what I'm talking about.

Any questions?

AL GORE PLEASE SEND SOME GLOBAL WARMING! NOW!

Whoever is praying for snow, for the winter to continue, or to cheat us out of Summer please stop.  Two weeks until June and we are still getting snow.  I love Winter and all, but I did move up here so I could have two seasons; Cold as hell and slightly warm / comfortable with a tiny slice of brown / break up season.  Not this 33F for a high today in mid-May when it is supposed to be nearly 70.

I take this week off from gigging and this is what I get?  Cold, snow, wind, and endless sun.  How can it not be warm when the sun is out for 20 hours?  I just don't get it.  If it keeps snowing I'm holding Al Gore personally responsible.  I moved up here since I heard global warming was coming, this is far from the case.  I guess I won't go out and purchase coastal property here in Alaska just yet.  The truth is... I'm cold and want God to turn on the nice weather switch.  Hunting is no fun when it is this cold.    

Your Typical Alaskan Front Yard

Like every good Alaskan I obviously have a ton of random crap in my yard.  The thing is... you never know when you will need a half broken pallet, an extra sheet foam toilet seat, or some Xbox 360 guitar hero controllers (I'm trying to learn the secrets of guitar and thought this was like the cliff notes to play guitar... I was wrong)?  Okay. perhaps I don't need a yard full of tarps covering mystery items and metal racks with water jugs, but it is always exciting to find what the snow has been hiding for half the year.  It is like Christmas in Spring!  In my own defense I do have several vehicles in the yard however they all run.  I will get right on getting some broken down ones though so I can be more authentic.

It is nice to have most of the week off.  I'm just running the "Gig Simulator" over at the Marlin tonight in Fairbanks.  I'm going to go glassing for bears after work tonight.  3am Three wheeler ride into the yonder hills looking for the apex predator of the sub-arctic.  Yes, please.  It should be light enough by then to see for miles.

1977 TOYOTA CHINOOK

After driving for 500 miles I have finally made it back to Fairbanks.  I thought that after leaving for a week that spring would finally would be in full swing.  It has started for sure, but it is still going sloooooow.  We are still in the middle of brown season.

Now I am back in Squarebanks and am taking it easy.  Time to do the spring clean up outside around the cabin.  Speaking of that... I rediscovered my banana yellow 1977 Toyota Chinook in my yard.  Started first try.

I will post more of my yard gems on the blog this week.  Learn the tools needed to survive in the last ukulele frontier.

SEWARD IS AWESOME SAUCE

Seward, Alaska  has to be one of the most beautiful places in the known world on a clear day.  The cruise ships are in the bay and even though it is drizzly like it usually is you can't beat the view from the bar. Time for this ukulele player to go for a run and prepare tonight's gig. last night was packed and tonight should be yet another dance party.  Let the "Pants off, Dance off" begin.

Molding the minds of the next generation one ukulele at a time.

It has been a great few days working with Monica Letner and the students in the music intensive class at the Stellar School in Anchorage.  Here is a pic of me and some of the class!  I have had a lot of fun these past two days exploring the magical properties of music.  I can't even imagine if when I was in school there was some long haired weirdo coming in and talking about ukuleles, drum sets, guitars, chord construction, and quasi-musical Zen.

Being in the big city of Anchorage for a few days has been fun.  We had a great show at Subzero Microlounge last night.  It was good to see everyone having such a good time.  Tomorrow we head down one of North America's most dangerous highways, the Seward Highway.  We have two nights in a row at the world famous Yukon Bar.  I hope the weather is nice.  There is nothing like a nice day in Seward.  I'll be staying a stone's throw from the ocean surrounded by 4000ft mountains.  I will post some pics.

Then Sunday...  The commute home.  500 miles to Fairbanks.  Sunday has been the day I usually try to keep it between the ditches avoiding ice and count wildlife.  Now that winter is gone Sunday will become the day I fish ALL DAY!!!!!  Game on. 

I'm taking "gay" back.

For too long homosexuals have owned the word "gay".  Well, I'm taking it back.  Gay is how I feel on a crisp spring morning with a hot cup of coffee as I look out at the hills that surround my cabin.  Gay is how I feel after I get done with a good show and I'm rubbing myself down with my tip earnings in complete ecstasy on my hotel bed.  Gay is me on my three wheeler whipping down the trails with the wind in my hair and the sun on my back with my super swamper tires... oh yeah, super swampers.  That is soooo gay and incredibly awesome.  

That is what being gay means to me. What does gay mean to you good people out there in cyberland?  What does it mean to you?  

BIG WEEK FOR UKULELEING:

I'm teaching all Wednesday-Friday during the school day along side Monica Letner in Anchorage for the Steller Song Writing program for high school students.  Pruning the minds of the younger generation.

Wednesday night the Parks Highway Band is playing at SubZero Microlounge in downtown Anchorage.
http://subzerolounge.com/anchorage_ak/

Friday / Saturday nights I will be rocking with Dr. Jones at the Yukon Bar in Beautiful scenic Seward, AK.
https://www.facebook.com/yukon.bar?fref=ts 

Ode to the Howling Dog

Tonight is the night.  The night when the Howling Dog Saloon opens for the summer season and the boys and I are going to rock it!!!!  Here is a good Alaskan factoid for everyone.  Back in the late 1970s during the pipeline era, they thought that it was a good idea to spray foam the outsides of buildings and paint it.  They soon realized sometime in the 80s that this probably wasn't the best idea and discontinued outside spray foam for the most part.  There are however some foam rebels still out there today.  I like to call it, Subarctic Stucco.

http://howlingdogsaloon.alaskansavvy.com/

The Howling Dog Saloon is the most northern rock and roll / biker bar on the continent and it ROCKS HARD!!!  It is my pleasure every year to be the guy with the Parks Highway Band that gets to open it up.  It is going to be crazy.  10pm-3am of pure Parks Highway band magic.  Mike Stackhouse, a local legend, will be opening the night tonight for us and tomorrow we have Johny Lungs and Ginger Black coming in!    

May 3rd and it is still snowing.  For the love of the sweet baby Jesus can spring start?  I don't live here in Fairbanks to enjoy the eight months of crappy weather.  It is for the four months of AMAZING weather which usually starts with the Dog opening.

www.ukuleleruss.com - peep the website if you get a chance!

The Moose VS The Nissan Versa

So now we are a few days into May and the snow seems to have finally let up.  We woke up yesterday to about 7 inches of the wet stuff with a high no greater than 39 for the next several days.  Currently we are having the second coldest spring in a 100 years... and it is BOGUS!

Driving home tonight from the "Gig Simulator" I put on at the Marlin, a classy Fairbanks establishment, I couldn't stop thinking about when I had a mustache and I plowed into a moose at about 55mph on my road. I haven't seen a moose near my place in a while and tonight was a night for moosery, or it at least felt like I was ripe for a moose encounter.  I just keep thinking of me in my 2009 Nissan Versa.  I had just paid off my loan on the car two days before and received my title in the mail.  I had the option of taking the full coverage off of it.  Lucky I didn't.

Don't mess with the Versa.  It took out that moose and I drove away without a scratch on me.  The Versa, well, it has gone to a better place.  Where automobiles and moose frolic together in the meadows and muskeg.  They call it Delta Junction, where all cars that almost died get fixed up good enough to last a week of driving and are resold to hunt moose again. There is a lot of wind in Delta Junction.  In Fairbanks there is barely any wind, ever.  That is why the saying goes; Fairbanks may suck, but Delta blows.

It's still winter in the lower 48? Good.

Seeing how the temperature here in Fairbanks dips below freezing in October and stays below freezing until April I have no sympathy for people south of Canada.  I have been waiting for 6 months to get outside in a T-shirt and hearing people whine on the news about another snow storm coming.  So what?  I had to shovel the paths around my cabin to the outhouse and whatnot again... And it is nearly May.

I would really like Al Gore to come to Fairbanks and explain to us when we are going to be sub-tropical coastal state.  Everyone is praying for some global warming up here and it sounds like some people down south are aiming for the same thing.

HOWLING DOG SALOON OPENS FOR THE SUMMER SEASON THIS WEEKEND!!!!  Parks Highway Band both nights!

Monday Funday = JUG PARTY!!

After a weekend of shows I usually get back to a list of "things to do". The kind of stuff you can't put off... like getting water. The jugs are empty and I left just enough water to drink and brush my teeth until I get motivated to get out of this cabin, drive twenty miles in my shoe box car with pizza cutter wheels, weighed down with over the recommended allowance for the cab of jugs of water... dangerous.


One day I will save my pennies and get hot and cold running water inside. Can you imagine the hell I go through just to wash dishes. It is a lengthy hand pruning process. The soft need not apply. AMERICA!  Or M-U-R-ica... your choice.

SIDENOTE - North America's most northern Rock and Roll / Biker Bar opens for it's summer season this weekend! The Howling Dog Saloon. Yours truly and the Parks Highway Band (with special guests and openers) will be kicking off the first weekend with Mike Stackhouse, a local legend, warming up the crowd on Friday night!

Oh, to be a caribou....

740 miles round trip later, my two day trip to Anchorage is finally over.  It was a nice ride though.  Clear skies, clear roads, and Denali and the Alaskan range were out in full effect.  

Saw some caribou today on the side of the highway and thought to myself....what a horrible existence.  Not that it wouldn't be a honorable and humble life, the life of a caribou...  It is just that....I don't care how they are majestic and beautiful creatures of the northern latitudes it is freaking cold out there.  It doesn't matter what kind of armaments evolution has armed you with, that has to suck.  No wonder they hang out by the pipeline.  It's warm and evidently they aren't "that" dumb.

This pic is of the good old pipeline and my Fiance and I raging up a huge hill on some machines.  Sorry winter....you're beat.  Go away.  High temp of 35 expected tomorrow...and it is almost May.    

UKULELE WORLD DOMINATION!

If anyone was wondering I am here currently....in Alaska, the great land, waving the banner of ukulele world domination high and proud from some random hill top in sub-arctic interior Alaska.  Where the kind of running water many of us have is the kind you have to run and go get.   To the people who fill their multiple plastic jugs of water for sustenance.....a tip of the hat to ya.

We won't be poor forever???  Right?   ....who cares.  Life is pretty awesome and the view from my outhouse is peaceful.

Keep rocking folks!

THIS WEEKEND TWO PARKS HIGHWAY BAND SHOWS!!!! (The gig cam will be collecting select clips for my internet crowd!)

FRIDAY - ANCHORAGE -  Humpy's Great Alaskan Alehouse - 9pm - FREE

SATURDAY - ANCHORAGE - Blue Fox Cocktail Lounge - 10pm - FREE 

Evan Williams - Jack Daniels dirty step brother

There are many truths in life.  One is never drink out of a glass at a strip club, only bottles.  The second truth is that Evan Williams even though it has a very similar label to Jack Daniels IS NOT JACK DANIELS!  The problem is that when I moved to Alaska I didn't realize I would never be able to find Evan anymore....just R&R brand whiskey......worthless to anyone on the road system, $100 a fifth in the bush.

Learn more about Alaska's whiskey habit...watch the GIG CAM video!

Legalize it!

Tonight the Parks Highway Band will be doing their tribute to Bobby Spliff, the whitest reggae artist of all time with their very special 4/20 show at the Marlin.  Come on down and celebrate with us the right way...the Marlin way. 

10PM ---- $5 at the door to support our vices!  

UAF PUB!!! Tonight!

Not much to report other than....WINTER IS OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!!  Well....at least it is here in interior Alaska!  40 degrees and climbing and it is light past 10pm.  There is only one way that I think is appropriate to celebrate....rocking with us tonight.  Alaska's Guitar Alternative -  Ukulele Russ and the Parks Highway Band.

9pm - UAF PUB - FAIRBANKS!!!!  

The Parks Highway Band rides again!!!!

After a month long hiatus the band is finally back together and ready to rock Squarebanks (Fairbanks) this weekend!!!  We have two great shows to offer the people of interior Alaska and they are going to be AWESOME SAUCE!  It is great to be back jamming on my end of the Parks Highway.  It seems like I'm always out of town with the PHB.  Time to rock the home crowd.

The best two lane highway on the continent and its band, The Parks Highway Band.  

FRIDAY - 9pm - University of Alaska Fairbanks Student Pub

SATURDAY - 10pm - The Marlin - 4/20 PARTY!!!!

The Gig Simulator! TONIGHT AT THE MARLIN!!! 10pm

A couple times a month I like to get down into the gullet of the Fairbanks music scene and lend my MC and knob tweaking skills to the people.  The people of the Marlin's open mic.  Most weeks they call it the open mic, but when I run it I call it the "Gig Simulator".  We try to make it as much like a real gig as possible.  Half rotten projectile vegetables, heckling, and looks of indifference from the crowd.  A good time is had by all.

Come on down and get there early.  The list fills up fast.  If the crowd likes you I'll let you play for a while....if not.....well...you get the idea :)

GET ON THE LIST!!!!!   And if you don't sign up I will be forced to play "Jingle Bells" on my ukulele until either one of two things happen.  1) People sign up  OR 2) ears bleed.

There's no place like Nome....there's no place like Nome.

I got the pleasure last month to be flown out to perform at the end of the Iditarod in one of Alaska's remote gems, Nome.  They call it the last great race.  1100 miles of frozen landscapes, sub-zero temps, and the most well conditioned athletes, sled dogs.  Dog mushing is a hardcore sport up here in Alaska and it is not for the weak hearted.  It is for bunny boot wearing bad asses.  What are bunny boots?  I'll get into that at a later date.   

What sets Nome aside from other town in the United States?  Well....here are a few things:

1) There are no trees - It is subarctic tundra.  Just miles and miles of grasses, tusiks (mounds of land about the size of a basketball on average that make walking hell on your ankles), and everyone's favorite aspect.....BUGS!!!!!  The joke is there is a beautiful woman behind every tree......But don't be fooled...there are good looking women in town.  It is where all the village princesses go when they leave their villages for the big city....Nome!

2) There are no roads out that connect to the road system.  You fly in (when the fog isn't in -- which happens a lot) or you boat in (only in the summer).

3) The only thing that will keep your warm there is whiskey....cheap whiskey.  I would like to suggest R&R.  Worthless to us, but $100 a fifth in the bush!  Many people don't know this but many of the communities off the road system (which we call "the bush") are dry.  No...I'm not talking about running water this time.  Booze is outlawed.  Just a factoid.

4) It costs an arm and a leg to get things in or out of Nome.  That is why when your car dies it stays in the yard for eternity.  I slept on a plywood bed with a piece of 1" pink sheet foam on it.  The Ritz!  Not much comes in...not much goes out.  However king crab here is half price compared to anywhere else.  $10 a pound!  The only steal of a deal in town.        

But.....let me warn you.  If you ever get the chance to go to Nome be prepared for one thing if you plan on spending multiple days there.  Your liver will grow like the Grinch's heart and turn into a bag full of large rocks and gravel.  8 dollar shots, 7 dollar beers, and 7 bars within a couple hundred yards and you don't even care how your bank account is dwindling.  You have to stay warm....and booze creates that illusion.

Celebrities in Nome?  You betcha!



This is Zeke from Bering Sea Gold and yours truly!

This pic is Lance Mackey (4 time winner of the Iditarod and my neighbor -- he is a Fairbanks guy and lives a few hills over from me) and I at the Bering Sea Bar and Grill before one of my shows.






One might ask what else is there to do in Nome during the winter?  Well...after I spent an hour walking around the "whole" town I realized that.....there is nothing.  Absolutely nothing but eating and drinking....heavily.  Not like bloated John Candy "Wagon's East" kind of heavily....heavier than that.

The skinny of it is....Nome is like a hardcore drinking party that bumps it up a notch during the end of the Iditarod.  This place is a trip....literally.  I can't wait to go back again next winter!  Plans are all ready being made.        


 

Welcome to the Last Ukulele Frontier

ALASKA!!!!!!!  The Last Ukulele Frontier!

One adrift alone in the guitarist's jungle is here to bring light onto the greatest stringed instrument known to man, the ukulele.  That's right, the little one with the plastic strings.  Well guess what?  I'll tell you something you might be interested in knowing.  Limitations are for people, not ukuleles.

I'm the kind of guy who opts for the Geo Metro in the Mac Truck world we live in.  I live on the edge of civilization in interior Alaska in a dry cabin.  Dry? Cabin?  Yes.  No running water.  No plumbing unless you count the sink I have in my kitchen that drains into a bucket.  Yes....I have an outhouse.

I hunt moose.  I harvest salmon for the freezer and slay the trout.  I snowshoe into strange hard to get places and tool around on the trails on my three wheeler...because I can't afford four.  I play ukulele for a living.

Several years ago I used to tour the lower 48 with a funk rock band.  Now I play full time in the last frontier, Alaska.  From elementary school classrooms to raunchy bars. I do it all.